I was just in a car wreck
I hope I haven't broken my neck
I felt the airbag hit me in the face
I hope I won't need to wear a brace

I'm in trouble everyday, I can't get a break
Everytime I drive I make some mistake
I get behind the wheel, my hands start to shake
I was in a wreck, I want my cake

I was just in a heavy metal accident
I should have stopped but on and on I went
I'm glad to see you're not in a bad mood
Right now I'd really like some angel food



You blew a wad of cash on a mini-bar just to get me smashed...

She knows how to mix it, she knows how to shake it
and if it can be made, she's gonna make it
she won't steal your wallet or take advantage of you
She's making the drink, the one that is pink
She's gonna make your dreams come true

You make a dynamite pink lady
a dynamite pink lady
She's a dynamite girl



It's an ugly world, and evil lies behind beauty's eyes (4x)

Kiss me monster, Kiss me monster
Embrace me with false security
Kiss me monster, Kiss me monster
You may be a monster but I want you here with me

It's a messed up mind that justifies it's own lamentful lies (4x)

"Life is not important - Even if I hadn't known you, I'd have left this world"



"K says k. X says Kzzz".


GET A GRIP ON YOUR MIND (Writ: Steve Rose)

Little Black Puppies that melt in your mouth
and little black puppies when the couch doesn't function...

And the fan that drifts across the room
not by your hair but by the balloon
that's attached to the dial
and you're wearing a great big smile
and I can't, I can't understand why
It's raining and it's pouring in my eye
I don't know, maybe there's time for anything that comes to my mind.
Oh here look here's a fire extinguisher
that's not really there but...oh I don't know.

Ah, mountain dews cans, dr. pepper cans, budweiser cans...Sam I am!

Green eggs and ham, green eggs and ham, yeah man.

OOOH, get a grip on your mind!



You wonder how to know if it's real
I don't know I only know how I feel
I know you're feeling like it's all lost
I know you're feeling like it's star-crossed

But we've got me, we've got you
We've got everything we need for a dream come true
So forget about the rest and hope for the best

Don't worry bout what they say
cuz I'll be there come what may
Forget about the future just face it
if we're supposed to we'll make it

Baybee let's think positively
the glass ain't half empty
it's half full it's three quarters full It's completely full


2,000 MILES

2.000 miles across the barren lands
that's where my love's gone (2x)

Well there's nothing to see and there's nothing to tell
I'll sorry to disappoint you (2x)

May as well as be, it may as well
May as well as be, it may as well as be



I just got a voice mail and I want you all to know
I just got a voice mail its from someone I don't know
I just got a voice mail and it wasn't meant for me
but I am so happy I am happy as can be
Thank you whoever you may be
Thank you for sending this to me
I feel like I have a new friend
I will have to listen to it again



He's AKA Cassius Clay
Also known as Muhammad Ali (2x)

Muhammad Ali, Muhammad Ali
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand
Muhammad Ali beats people up
He's a very nice man



Hermburgers are a guy's best friend (2x)

On them you can depend
They'll be there until the end
So go out and spend spend spend your money on
Hermburgers are a guy's best friend

If your brother is down then extend
a helping hand to him and lend
him a hermburger that you can send, first class
Hermburgers are a guy's best friend

I shore don't need to pertend
That from heaven they did descend
because God always did intend for
Hermburgers to be a guy's best friend

I once heard it said
that diamonds were a girl's best friend
but of course it's hot dogs that are a girl's best friend



Riders to the stars, that is what we are
Everytime we kiss in the night

Jupiter and Mars aren't very far
anytime you're holding me tight

Your embrace changed time and place
hurled in space, wowee

and now we're whirling past the moon
far away from earth
just the way I dreamed love would be
Riders to the stars are we



I'm bored when I'm alone
I cannot use the phone
There is no one to call
I'm staring at the wall
There is no one about
I wish I could go out
There is nowhere to go
It's a bleak scenario

"Oh, I've been sitting here for hours...I don't know what to do...what can I do...I don't know what to do..."

I'm bored when I'm alone
Fun is seldom known
Everything needs done
It is so unfun
There's nothing here to do
I know that this is true

"It feels like an hour has gone by...but the hands on the clock haven't moved...This is no fun...what will I do here all by myself?"

I'm bored when I'm alone
There isn't any tone
there's silence all around
There isn't any sound
There is no one to talk
I never hear a knock
No one's been here in years
I can't believe my ears
This quiet drives me mad
It makes me wish I had
Someone here with me
then bored I wouldn't be

"It is still the same night...I am still sitting in the same spot...I don't know what to do...I wish I had something to do..."



I got drunk at Chuck E. Cheese
on several of their bland chablis
I got drunk at Chuck E. Cheese
and I was asked to leave

I just wanted to know how their wine would taste
but I ended up so very faced
I guess you could say that I got trashed
but you also could say that I got smashed
Chuck E. Cheese is a talking mouse
and that kind of makes sense when you are soused
All I wanted was to cut loose
but I went to far and got totally juiced

I wish I could've helped Nicole when her mom got lost
But I wasn't worth a damn cuz I got tossed
I sat down right in front of my plate
and I was so messed up that my pizza tasted great
I thought of Scott Zodiack when I was wasted
When I saw the puppet's mustache so badly pasted

I got up on stage, I was pretty tipsy
people started throwing tokens but most of them missed me
You don't know what it's like unless you are plastered
when a 6 foot mouse calls you a bastard
he might not have hit me if he hadn't been goaded
but that's just how I am when I get loaded
it's no surprise that I got booted
cuz my brain was so chabli-polluted



Jane, only you can cure this pain (2x)

The pain of being alone when I don't need to be
the pain of being alone, you're not here with me

The pain of saying these things with nobody near
The pain of saying these things and nobody's here

The pain I'm feeling inside it won't go away
The pain I'm feeling inside, I'll feel everyday



Kenny Joe got his eye fixed, uh-huh
Kenny Joe got his eye fixed, oh yeah
Kenny Joe got his eye fixed
I didn't know that it was Kenny Joe

When I saw him it was a guessing game
I didn't even remember his name
cuz he just didn't look the same
it didn't look like Kenny Joe

Our friends all have to agree
he looks a little bit like Chef-Boy-R-Dee
and to a much much lesser degree
He still looks like Kenny Joe

Well he looks a lot happier now
when he's out there pulling the plow
we're gonna ask him now to take a bow
Take a bow now, Kenny Joe



Sitting uncomfortably in a hard easy chair
I've got nothing to do, but no time to spare
I'm busy trying to keep track of all that I lack
making a list as big as your fist and as
wide as your smile

I want to fly, but all I do is land
when I get over it, then I'll understand
I can't be your friend cuz my head is cut off
looks like I am not whole without this
tortured soul.



Whatever...I don't care anymore
Whatever...I don't care anymore
It doesn't matter I don't know what for
Whatever...I don't care anymore

I guess I've hurt myself today
I guess I'll want to hurt myself
I guess I'll probably want to cry
I guess I'll probably want to die

I feel like I don't like myself
I feel like I'm not good enough
I feel like I don't want to think
I feel like I don't want to live

I don't want to share this with the world
but I can't get this mood ring off



My dinner with Andre was the very best dinner of all (2x)
I never ate so well as I did that day (2x)

We ordered the fried up fish steak
we each had a chocolate milk shake
that gave us an ice cream headache
and yet we went on to partake
of the frosted sponge cake

and the first piece of chicken was the best piece of chicken
the first piece of chicken was the best piece of chicken
the first piece of chicken was the best piece of chicken, uh-huh

I even got a little mint when it was all over!



C'mon baybee! C'mon baybee! Won't you play me a game of kiss and tell! (2x)

The first thing I do in kiss and tell is I kiss you the whole night through
The next thing I do in kiss and tell is I tell you that I love you - tell you that I love you



You stomped the floor like Rasputin
everything I said, you were refutin'
you would not believe the date of demise
flying off the handle over the lack of supplies
this is the day that you can dance and clap and sing
even though the message doesn't mean a thing
you were pounding on a table while teling a story
of all of these things I took an inventory

but I don't care, I don't care
cuz I make the rules here



Kid tough toys - were meant to be broken by girls and boys (2x)

The shelves were lined with a load of plastic crap
packaged up real pretty with an inch of shrinking wrap
a plethora of junk and all it does is suck
imaginations run wild with a ten-dollar truck
you can bust anything if you use enough force
get out of the way and let nature take it's course
do what you want just make sure it makes you happy
cuz we can't afford to have you feeling crappy

After some abuse all the parts are coming loose
it looks a lot like something from a book by Dr. Seuss
It cost a little cash but it's worthless in a flash
now put it where it should have been with all the other trash
don't put it out of reach stop living in a dream
don't treat a party favor like some gold that doesn't gleam
just like doing dishes you're bound to break a cup
if you wanna have some fun you gotta fuck shit up



OH! My toe, my toe
I never thought a book could hurt you so (2x)

When the book hit my toe, then I was filled with woe (2x)

It's not gonna be a good day for me (2x)

"ooh my bunion"



Whatever was there it ain't there now
everyone's got to suffer somehow (2x)

Just like breaking that lamp you hated
it feels like something's been amputated
like a man who lost his arm but still can feel it
something is gone, something's gone wrong

she ruined everything for her
she ruined everything for me
she ruined everything, she ruined everything (2x)



Where the hell are my colored pencils now? (2x)

Cuz I'm tired of everything being in black and white
I want to color all the pictures and make everything all right

previous page
next page